Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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