you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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