Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
