You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize