the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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