I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
