so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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