How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
