Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Randomize
