Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So much rum. So many feels.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
