Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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