Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
