Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she looked like the before picture.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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