For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
