For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
