is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
