I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
