It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
