there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Are we still banned from the library?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
