peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
