you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
