She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
