I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
