Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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