Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
