I'll bet she douches with gravy.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
