the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
