Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
