Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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