you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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