theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize