went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
