i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
