I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
