she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
