She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
