i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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