my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
