i wish my penis had a tongue
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
