Just mADE A PArabola og urine
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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