She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize