He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
