I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
