There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
