she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
