Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
