he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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