Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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