Where did you get a picture of my penis
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Boobs are out for the taking
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
