im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
