please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
