I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
