Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
