I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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