Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
