he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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