you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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