Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
