You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
