Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
