She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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