dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
