Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize