I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
