WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
