I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
