so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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