I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
