if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
