drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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