R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
